Court Finally
We finally got on the ball and got the final documentation for Addis today. Well, mostly all of it. We still have to wait on a birth certificate and social security number, but we are very close. I freaked everyone out on Facebook by saying that we had to “readopt” Addis. It has a much more technical term, but I didn’t feel like sending out all the details with twitter. You only get 140 characters.
To be honest, we waited this long because we had no clue what we were supposed to do. If you don’t live in Texas, Gladney doesn’t have much for you. We found a great adoption lawyer in town for all of you NWA families that are in process. His name is Keith Morrison, and he was very helpful and has five adopted kids himself, so he knows the process first hand.
Here are all the kids waiting patiently in the hallway before our appointment.
Keith took Addis back to see Judge Mashburn first. Thankfully, Addis has never met a stranger so he was happy to go along.
Judge Mashburn has a picture with every adoptive family he has ever been able to approve in his career. He was a great man and was proud to be a part of our story.
As of today, he is officially Addis Zachary Yeabsera Kennedy.
(This morning, he was legally Yeabsera Zachary Kennedy.)
A Hair Update
It is getting crazy long, though you would never know it. When it gets wet, his brothers and sisters say he has girl hair because it goes down his back.
Gladney Family Gathering
So, we haven’t posted in a while. We really should be better about it, but I am still not really sure how to do this whole blogging thing. Zach always does it for me, and I pretend like it is from me. (Like right now, as I lie in bed and he sits at the computer typing what I say.)
This weekend, we traveled to the great state of Oklahoma for a Gladney Family Association gathering. We got to meet a few of the families we have been stalking on the internet through blogland. It is odd when people know your name and details about your life and you have never actually met in person.
We met the Bottomly crew. Addis and Silas were big buds. Actually, I am not sure they paid that much attention to each other, but they were really cute together. It was the referral pictures of Silas that first awakened the call in us to adopt, so it was really cool getting to see our sons together.
We also got to meet the Silvestri’s and Winter’s. Tara and Eric took pictures of Addis when they traveled to Ethiopia to pick up their son Malak, and we took pictures of Rebekah and Ben’s son Eli when we traveled to pick up Addis. It was awesome to see all of our boys together. It made us very excited for all of the families in Northwest Arkansas to bring home their babies.
Andrea (who did our home study), Natalie (Gladney), Nikki, Tara, Amy, me, Corrie (a NWA mom on the wait list), and Mary (Gladney).
Thanks Bottomly’s for letting us crash at your place. We hope to get together with all the Oklahoma families again soon. Maybe next time we will bring ALL the kids.
From Ashes to Africa
AJ and Sara sent me a copy of the Bottomly’s new book, From Ashes to Africa, for my birthday. I picked it up around 11:30 one night to read a few pages, and I turned the light off at 2:00 am after reading the whole thing. I kept thinking, one more chapter and I will go to bed.
What I appreciated most about the book was the raw honesty. I felt like I was reading my own journal as they detailed their experience while in Ethiopia. I only wish I could have read it before I left, as it would have prepared me for so many life altering experiences.
I had no idea what visiting the orphanages would do to me. I initially thought it would be fun to see the kids and play with them, bringing a smile for the day. I did not expect to see Addis’ eyes in theirs, an experience Amy describes in detail. She writes:
“I could see Silas at 10 years old, with holes in his jeans and lice in his hair. I could see him at 18, with no education, no marketable skill, and no job prospects. Through such glimpses I felt more full the gravity of our decision to adopt.”
I wish I could have been more prepared…
I had not processed what meeting Addis’ birth mother might be like. Ashes to Africa dives into the deep feelings that you don’t expect. Feelings of guilt and great sadness as you see the final goodbyes. Then the process your heart and mind go through in the hours after as feelings of gratitude and love flood back in.
“Part of me felt the rightness of adoption, the rightness of Hermela’s courage and sacrifice. The other part of me felt the the wrongness of adoption, the wrongness of broken families and abject poverty.”
I wish I could have been more prepared…
This memoir is so important to both the adoption community and the world of Christians who have no idea what it means to care for “the least of these.” If you are alive, you should read it. (I tried to condense this down to certain groups that should read it, but wasn’t successful, hence the all inclusive mandate.) Just make sure you start reading in the morning and not at 11:30 at night.
Verbal Curiosity
It seems almost simultaneous. The moment you announce you are adopting internationally, many people around you lose all common sense in exchange for verbal curiosity. Key word in the last sentence is “verbal.” If they would keep their curiosity to themselves, it would save us all a little embarrassment. But they don’t, and in the process we get to laugh. A lot.
So here is a non-comprehensive list of some of the funniest/awkward things people have said concerning our adoption journey. The names of those who said the following have been omitted to protect their good name. If you are on the list, don’t feel bad. You are not alone.
One time we were at a park and Addis would’nt keep leaves out of his mouth. Every time we put him down, he put a leaf in. A friend at the park with us asked, “Is that what he is used to eating in Ethiopia?” Yes, we found him roaming free on the savannah foraging for berries. He is a baby, not a herbivore.
Ethiopia is in Africa, right? So is he going to be (pause because they aren’t sure they are supposed to be saying it out loud) you know, African, black? Generally, this question is posed as informational, as if we haven’t considered that we will be raising an african american son.
Speaking of african american, that particular term was difficult for a friend once. “No, he will be african” he told me. “And American,” I added. “Yeah, I guess. But it’s still not the same.” Not sure why that mattered, but it did during that bout of verbal curiosity.
There are various poorly planned stereotypical comments made, generally surrounding sports. Football is the topic of conversation that usually draws out these awkward moments. I have a standard answer for this one that I will pass along for the moment that it comes up in your conversations. “Yes, and next we are going to adopt an asian baby because we really want an olympic gymnast.”
And, my all time favorite, “will he speak english?” This question has been asked in a hundred different ways. “It will be interesting to see what he speaks once he starts talking.” “I wonder if he can understand anything you are saying.” “He will probably need some speech therapy to get caught up.” My general response is, “when your baby was 8 months old, what did they speak?”
Alright fellow blog friends. I know we are not the only ones with stories, so please pass along your funniest moments in the comments.
UPDATE:
Annie reminded me of one of our all time favorites in the comments section. It has been asked by at least three people at this point. “Do you plan on telling him he is adopted?” My answer is usually a polite, “Yes.” What I want to say is, “No, we prefer him to think his mother had an affair and we don’t want him to know his biological father.”
